Bagel Press

i swear, i heard the mya version of shake it like a dog a while ago, and i even have a copy on my iTunes and every time she starts wailing about “Boy you make me wanna shake it like a dog FOR MY BAAABEEEEEE! like a dog” i just have to hit the skip button lest she make my retinae suddenly detatch from the back of my eyeballs.

right? and is it just me that doesn’t buy this dirty image for mya? does she always talk like that? and with that weird inflection in her voice? i dunno, it just doesn’t seem right. i like my mya clean, wholesome and tap dancing:

oh, i also like mya when she’s singing extended metaphors about her bra:

anyway now i’m hearing keri hilson recorded a version of this song with r. kelly? what is this fuckery? why are they trying to make this awful song happen?

at least keri hilson had the good sense to turn down the volume on the wailing part. mya had that shit turned up like it was a selling point for the song. it helps that keri hilson’s voice isn’t as wail-y as mya. but still…why is this song being passed around still?

it kinda creeps me out how into fiveawesomegays i am. i’ve never been *that* into youtube before, but these guys are pretty hilarious, especially joe, featured above. these guys are all securely fastened into their early twenties (and i think, maybe late teens?) which makes me feel too old for this. thus the burgeoning pedobear feelings.

though to be fair, all of them are adults, and exhibit signs of more maturity and self-awareness than i did at their respective ages, and in some cases perhaps even more than i do now.

anyways, in the video above, there’s a clip of joe and stevie talking about pulling eyelashes, which is *identical* to a conversation me and dvg once had. i, firmly taking the anti-pulling position, am joe to dvg’s stevie.

fucking iphone screen broken. as it is a hand-me-down, it is now one year and two months old, ie. just out of warranty. does apple have a fatwa on me or something?

went to the eye doctor for the first time in a while, and was told i may be showing signs of glaucoma. i’ve read that article a couple times now and i’m still not sure what this could mean except that i could someday go blind? i don’t know. i guess she was looking around inside my eye and thought my optic nerve looked a little big, so then she tested the width of my cornea, which is apparently a little thin. then i had to have pictures taken of the back of my eye, which was pretty neat. of eighteen or so little boxes on my chart, i think four of them were red, six were yellow and eight were green. apparently that’s a reason for slight concerned and now i have an appointment to see an opthamologist.

also, getting glasses and contacts made is expensive!

i went to my appointment at the genius bar this morning for my sometimes-broken right arrow key, and after 15 minutes with a *genius* and being told that my problem could be a firmware update (psh, right!) the *genius* could not find the aforementioned firmware update which he had downloaded. now, maybe i’m too discerning about what level of knowledge *geniuses* should have, but shouldn’t he at least know that leopard has that special directory for downloaded files?

in the end he got flustered and was just like, “you know what, i’m gonna just give you a new keyboard,” and he went over to the shelf, ripped one open and handed it to me. genius! pure genius!

dvg and i ran the disneyland half marathon this weekend. i ran a 1:51:57, which is good, but somewhat disappointing when compared to dvg’s 1:43:45.

at our last outing in santa ynez, i ran a 1:48:20 to dvg’s 1:46:47…so while he improved his personal best by three minutes, i slowed by three minutes, and the difference between our times has gone from a nominal 1:33 to a whopping 8:12! i gotta work on my endurance.

anyways, the most important part, and the whole reason i’m writing this is that afterwards there were free massages and this really chatty man in front of us was talking to the couple next to him and he was totally animated and seemed alright. then suddenly he’s all like “can you hold my place in line?” and he steps like, two feet over and starts to spew all over the pavement. and he just keeps going and going. dvg and i were unfortunately in his splash zone. i kinda wanted to be like, hey man, go find a trash can or something. your place in line is just not that important.

i’ve never before gotten nauseated from seeing/hearing someone else throw up, but i think due to the fact that i was so exhausted, i was feeling the chunks start to rise. recalling an episode of CSI where sara sidle mentioned that smiling helps to inhibit your gag reflex, i put on a really big smile and plugged my ears to block out the splooshing.