Bagel Press

according to findyourspot.com:

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Hartford, Connecticut
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Gaithersburg,Maryland
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Corvallis, Oregon
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Eugene, Oregon
TheEmerald City. This Oregon city is home to the Hendricks Park RhododendronGarden, famous all over the world for its beautifulblossoms…Population: 138,000 | Average Home Price:$179,000 | Precipitation: 48″ | Snow: 7″

i was a shitty friend this weekend. it’s weird how when you dosomething shitty and you apologize for being shitty, you really want tojust be forgiven so that you can feel okay about yourself again. butreally, it doesn’t erase the fact that you did something shitty, and inany event, the fact that you did something shitty makes you undeservingof any absolvment for general shittiness.

i’m not even sure that this is a big deal, but what is becoming plainto me is that it *is* a big deal to me, not so much because i want tofeel like i’m forgiven, but because i want to know for myselfthat i’m *not* a shitty friend like i suspect that i am.

coming clean is a hard path to navigate. i can use general drunkednessas a scapegoat, but i wouldn’t be taking responsibility for anythingexcept having a drink or two too many. and really what is that? “iapologize for having four drinks instead of three?” bullshit. i have toapologize for being a shitty friend. to use the *worst* analogy ever,the decision over whether or not to come clean is as unpredictable astaking responsibility in donald trump’s boardroom, because you neverknow how it will be received. you’re either labelling yourself asshitty, or you’re trying to diffuse your own shittiness onto otherfactors/people, neither of which is terribly advantageous.

so, suffice it to say that i genuinely feel very shitty, and that all ican do now is admit that i made some poor decisions and will need towork on not making similar decisions in the future. do i feel betternow? not really. i don’t think i’m supposed to yet.

yesterday, i think i mistook a sugarhigh for being REALLY REALLY HORNY.I was rolling around like an alley cat in my office. it was insane.

today, in honor of pay day, i did some high kicks for the officemanager as she handed me my paycheck. then i high-kicked like the WBfrog all the way to the mailbox to deposit my check.

but seriously, i think i am horny, and that yesterday it was justelevated due to my consumption of three or four candy bars. i’ve beenrunning a lot in the past couple of months, and boy does that extraexercise make me RANDY. i’m ready to throw the mack down. BAM!

in other news: HI HI PUFFY AMIYUMI debuts tonight on Cartoon Network.watch it if you get the chance, 7:30PM (4:30 if you have directv) sincethey are semi-related to my company, and i think that a hit for themwill be a hit for us.

huzzah! i’m still not going to buy any of their gi-normous clothes that don’t fit me!

abercrombie settles class action law-suit regarding discriminatory hiring practices.

i’ve got a zillion things running through my head right now, the leastof which is all the piles of work i’ve got accumulating for myself.

i can’t explain why my mind starts working too fast for me to catch upsometimes, why i start emailing friends with pictures of myself and askthem “why do my thighs look so thick?” and then send other emails abouthow it suddenly occurred that this dude i like looks like pochacco, andthen search the internet for the perfect picture of pochacco todemonstrate my point. all i know is that sometimes it happens, and it’slike, i can’t have enough thoughts in second, or type fast enough, ortalk fast enough. then i start feeling like that john nash guy from abeautiful mind and start looking around and see all these gold lettersand numbers floating around me with secret enemy code transmissions.there was waaay more to this thought, but i couldn’t type fast enoughto catch it all as it spilled out of my brain.

i was considering banging my head against the table or the wall to slowmy brain down, much to the admonishment of my friend who indeed, doesnot want to see me bring any more harm to myself.

i think i need some focus music. i’ve been listening to Saint Etienneall day, and last night i was rocking the Cornelius, and i’m not sureeither of these are going to help my brain slow down.

it’s national novel writing month again. www.nanowrimo.org challengeseveryone to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. I guess one of theideas behind this is that enforcing a time constraint forces you to getover the fits and starts of writing. You can’t really worry about plotholes, grammar problems etc., so you just work on pumping out a roughdraft in thirty days.

i tried doing this last year, but didn’t even get started. let’s see how i do this year…

so i’m losing another roommate. this marks my eighth roommate in fivedifferent places of residence in 6.5 years. luke, joe, calvin, huan,takeshi, carmina, vanessa and karen.

i have circled the globe of roommates: (in order) hapa, korean, chinese(cantonese), vietnamese, japanese, filipino, mexican and chinese(taiwanese).

so anyone looking for a place to live? i have yet to have a hmongroommate, so ‘holla’ to any hmongs out there. the place will beavailable in february (a long time away, i know) but possibly sooner,i’m not sure what the deal is with my roommate yet. it’s $725/mo. forbedroom and shared bathroom. it’s in west LA in the Santa Monica/Bundyarea, walking distance to such fine amenities as el pollo loco. it’s atwo story place with a nice kitchen that can simultaneously have thecupboards, oven, refridgerator and diswasher open, with two peoplestanding comfortably inside, delighting at the fact that they can havethe cupboards, oven, refridgerator and dishwasher open simultaneously.

anyway, i’m getting tired of describing things. so anyone looking for a place, just get a hold of me somehow.