Bagel Press

asa-kun, you’re so hot. you’re SO HOT. you’re the only one that makes me walk from my office to take a look at you, then go into the kitchen and start jumping up and down screaming silently.

i could listen to you switch back and forth between japanese and english ALL DAY.

i’m starting to like the new (improved?) trashy ass ho britney better than any of her other images.

britney dressed as a space alien throwing milkshake at paparazzi with sister while mom looks on.

i’ll bet you never saw THAT coming.

intern! please don’t try to ask me a question when i’m 60% through blowing my nose. it’s not a good time!

return of the overshare

for those who don’t know, i have somehow acquired a case of hemorrhoids. i would venture to say that it is perhaps the worst case i’ve had in my life. coming from a life so rife with gastrointestinal problems, this is quite a feat.

my best theory is that when i had tonsilitis last month and the doctor put me on the strongest antibiotics known to man which subsequently fucked up my entire digestive system and forced my whole stomach to invert, i somehow irritated my digestive system and the area “down there.”

so since i stopped taking the drugs and the constant diarrhea has stopped, suddenly i’ve got itching, burning and *gasp* bleeding. not fun.

i’ve been trying to weather the situation, luckily i had some tucks medicated pads on hand, but after a week, the damn thing was still causing me angst. so i decided i might have to invest in some preparation H.

(on the phone in the buttcream aisle at Ralphs)
me: oh man, this stuff is expensive. it’s like, 15 bucks. should i get cream or suppositories?
jason: i don’t think i could stick something up my butt like that. what happens to it once it gets up there?
me: i don’t know. i always assumed they just dissolve or something. fuck! why do they have to put the security device over the usage instructions! that’s not good!
jason: …
me: guess i should just go with the cream.

(at home)
me: fuck! you mean i got the suppositories??!?

i discovered that suppositories are just little bullets of cream that you shove up your butt and leave there. so yes, they do just dissolve after a while. they’re actually much more fragile than i would have assumed. the first two got smushed as i was trying to get them out of the foil wrapper and i just made a huge mess. this morning i reapplied, or reinserted rather, and it went much more smoothly.

i’m happy to announce that i can easily find my butthole.

you know, i’m really scared to fart while using these things.

so so good.

http://www.cerritosallstars.com/images_2/martial_arts.mov

i’m surprised that he had the gumption to try and continue… it’s stuff like this that made me quit kung-fu in the 7th grade.

perusing my way through downelink today while looking for a Future Imaginary Husband (FIH), a distinct feeling came over me that though i feel well networked amongst the LA Area gayzns, there is in fact an entire echelon of gayzns with whom i am not acquainted. i can look around downelink, peruse the profile of a gay asian male in the LA Area who, according to all resources, goes to RAGE every friday, and yet i don’t know a single person on their list of friends. how does this happen? Is it like Springfield and Shelbyville, and how no one knows each other, and yet each person has a mirror counterpart in the other town?

Springfield Milhouse: Is this the end of Milhouse?
Shelbyville Milhouse: My name is Milhouse too! It’s a pain I know only two well.
(They embrace)
Springfield Milhouse: So this is what it’s like when doves cry.

i guess that my point is that i inadverdently write off people on downelink who somehow don’t know a single person that i know (or worse yet, only know people whom i dislike) but really, am i unfairly writing them off, when my shelbyville milhouse could be out there, ready for an embrace?

is it wrong that i actually find it hot when the two milhouses embrace? ok, forget i said it.

i know this is stale news by now, but i’m agog at britney’s impromptu wedding this weekend. was this some bizarre promotional scheme for the debut of her new video?

have you seen the photos? what a classy fucking bitch. looks like she had the bridesmaids dressed in pink velour tracksuits, and the groomsmen in white bathrobes with “Pimps” on the back. classy, classy, classy.

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

i was just flipping through a new issue of animerica, and the new bandai ad is out for the mobile suit gundam seed dvd!

funny thing is, it looks a lot like a flyer i designed for them in conjunction with tofu records a few months back. granted, the background color is black instead of white, but the type and the cropping are very similar.

cool! my first piece of copied design work!

i’ve pretty much always been a wildly unflexible person. like, in termsof touching my toes. but for the past month and a half or so, i’ve beenstretching every morning, and during my break at work, and i am proudto report that i can now touch my toes! i’ll get my legs over my headyet!

exciting day, huh?

i’m trying out this radioblog thing. kinda fun. sorry for the lack of music, there’s nothing but jpop on my work comp.